Paris Hilton Does God

So. It appears that Paris Hilton has found God. Presumably she cleared out her wardrobe or something. Either way, Christianity has certainly undergone a drastic modernisation.

Therefore, to celebrate this new collaboration (much in line with other recent alliances) Teasmade Revenge brings you the Paris Hilton ‘Made In Heaven’ Collection®, incorporating a few key pieces that are bound to have the fashionistas queueing round the block.

The beard
So in right now. Paris’ take lends a new flair to this classic and essential item, taking it to truly biblical proportions. Watch out for matching His and Hers D&G (David And Goliath) Mega-Beards©.

Flipflops
The humble flipflop gets a makeover this summer. The Jesus-endorsed sandal to end all sandals, this footwear can do anything.*

The hand-woven desert robe
Comes in three colours: Flood Blue, Pestilence Khaki and Crucifix Red. A must-have for all those hip summer parties, this cute sack-like and fashionably shapeless robe will make sure your fiancé doesn’t know you’re knocked up ’til halfway to Israel. Hey, he can’t blame you – God did it!

Tiara of thorns
Complete with matching bracelets and hairclips, this naughty and Nicea item will have you crying holy tears of joy. Just right for your birthday party, you’ll want to resurrect this time and time again. This is truly the crowning glory of the collection.

*Please note that this item is water-resistant and not water-proof. Paris Hilton Made In Heaven and The Almighty Kingdom Of God©® apologise for previous claims to the contrary.