Cold-calling costs lives

So Gordy has been randomly ringing people up for idle chit chat. Weird. Robert Maxwell used to do the same, in fact – a distant relative of mine once got called in the wee hours to talk about nothing at all – so I wonder if this is a sign of impending financial ruin?

Astonishingly, a significant proportion of seemingly-bizarre government documents are beginning to make sense in the light of this revelation, however ominous. For example, one policy document quotes the following voter survey results…

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When asked whether they subscribed to the theory that abstract political dissonance subjugates the central intelligence criteria of implied consent, participants most used the following phrases:

• 42% – “What?”
• 21% – “Fuck off.”
• 18% – “Sorry, I’ve already got one.”
• 9% – “Can I get back to you? We’re just having dinner.”
• 6% – “It’s not about our Kevin again, is it?”
• 3% – “Mmm. What are you wearing?”
• 1% – “Mr – Mr Maxwell? Oh god…” [dial tone]

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Hmm, perhaps that data might go some way towards explaining why Auntie Sheila just fled the country with a big heavy Northern Rock-branded suitcase, leaving a trail of mixed coinage and traces of cocaine. Who knows?