Crystal Castles – self-titled

Stupidly, I succumbed to a short buying frenzy recently and bought Crystal Castles’ debut album on the strength of just one song. Well, also on the basis of the huge 8bitpeoples controversy. It’s generally pretty hard to get hold of chip music in your local record shop, so I thought that (since they were allegedly stealing it from other people) the Crystal Castles album would be bursting with precious, precious 8bit.

It sort of does. I mean, there’s definitely 8bit in there. The 8bit isn’t the problem: it’s the other shit. Random, screamy, tuneless vocals and over-use of trippy synthesisers. It’s as though a stoner got hold of some pretty good chip tunes, took them to a lunatic asylum and played the keyboard while recording the insane ramblings of the mentally ill.

Don’t get me wrong, there are stand-out tracks. Well, there are stand-out bits of really bizarre tracks which, if on their own, would be excellent. Unfortunately, these tend to be the intros – just as you start getting ready to dance around your flat in your underwear, the weirdness kicks in. Quickly followed by the disappointment. And the pressing desire to visit the 8bit Collective and hunt out some proper-decent 8bit from their immense mound of dross.

The least worst tracks: Untrust Us and 1991.

Oh yes, and if you’re wondering what 8bit is, you’re probably better off looking for ‘chiptunes’ in Wikipedia.