Obligatory Twitter article

Filed under: Proper articles — Minnie Bygott February 9, 2009 @ 12:07 am

Oooh. Twitter. So. Here we are, then. Twitter. Yes. Gosh. Flavour of the month. Everyone’s doing it. But is anyone understanding it?

People seem to be using Twitter for all sorts of things. Broadcasting enigmatic philosophies about toasters and weasels, sharing valuable knowledge about their bloody grandmothers, pretending to be boring celebrities, and most importantly of all showing people pictures of themselves stuck in lifts.

What’s more, it’s possible to post from all sorts of amazing high-tech software and hardware. I personally blog in an immensely Nathanesque manner – iPhones, Firefox add-ons, desktop thingies, the lot. This only serves to make the whole thing really, really bloody addictive. It’s like if, say, Facebook were poppers, then Twitter is cocaine. No, that’s not clichéd enough. Heroin. Hang on, not there yet… um… fuck… bubble wrap. YEAH, BUBBLE WRAP. That’s fucking right.

But, in old-style retro Teasmade fashion (going back to my roots, people), I just don’t think it’s been taken far enough. The world hasn’t got enough Twitter outlets. What’s more, there’s far more that could be covered, and by far more people So, let’s mash all that up.

Teasmade Revenge’s Ideal Twitter Timeline

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satan @jesus Yeah, well fuck you too
2 minutes ago from Hell.o.phone in reply to jesus
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aliens @humanity Landing now. Prepare your women and children for
their slow and painful demise.
4 minutes ago from outrspac
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stevejobs I give up, it’s true, my computers are waaaay overpriced.
Can’t believe I fooled you all for so long. Suckers.
5 minutes ago from CoffinFon
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borisj Beat @redken at Wiff Waff this morning. Commie bastard.
8 minutes ago from outrspac
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geog_bush im on th intnets. now wat? r their irackees on heer? hop
not… o noes, bedtime.
9 minutes ago from nurseryFon
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…actually, on reflection, perhaps not…