I’m still being crap at posting – sorry – but until I get back into it, here’s a link to one of my favourite places on the net: The Best of Craiglist.
In case you don’t know, Craiglist is a free listings site that gets over ten billion page views per month. Since it’s so popular, it does tend to attract quite a few crazies – and the best and weirdest listings tend to end up here [clicky]:
Have you ever been compared extremely unfavourably to your relatives, the offspring of your parent’s friends, or high-achievers of a similar age and disposition to yourself? Yeah. That’s how TR is feeling at the moment, so while we get over our incandescent rage and stop wallowing in pathetic misery, here are a few other, far superior, sites for you to blindly fawn over.
Crying, while eating – Did your cat bite you on the toe? Has your online girlfriend dumped you for a communist? Are you having problems reconciling your love of horses with your love of gelatine? Well, you’re crap – because these people aren’t just suffering. They’re turning their suffering into something constructive, and making something of their lives. Now go and eat a multi-pack of salted crisps through saltier tears. Don’t bother filming it though, because it won’t be anything like as good.
MulletJunky – See that no-good white-trash caravan-dwelling drunk with the bloody awful hairdo? That’s you, that is. You might as well just go and get a mullet right this minute and give in to it. In fact, don’t bother spending the money, since you’ll probably have just spent all your meagre wages on those crisps, you under-achieving shit heap. If I were you, I’d just go and fetch the scissors. The safety scissors. I don’t know if you could handle grown-up ones.
Joe Cartoon – As those who were supposed to nurture and protect you turn against you one by one, you’ll undoubtedly need something smaller and more helpless than yourself to destroy. As you take to the internet, desperate for respect from someone, anyone – only to get flamed by nerds even more helpless than yourself – the prospect of exacting death and destruction upon others will seem less and less cruel.