Ah, Revels. Beggars’ Milk Tray. Sweets for the indecisive. The chocolate treat that attempts to cater for all, thereby catering for nobody. Feel like Maltesers, but don’t want to fully commit? Need chocolatey, raisiny goodness, but feel the need to throw in a sugary, powdery version of some other fruit? Don’t really care whether or not you know what you’re about to eat? Never fear, Revels are here.
Revels seem to base their whole strategy on the fact that there are people who wander into sweet shops with no clear idea of their aims and objectives. They know they want something sweet. It should preferably involve chocolate. They don’t want anything too chewy, nor do they feel like anything too soft. They’re buggered if they’re going to drop the cash for a box of chocolates, but they don’t want to be eating the same thing for the duration of their sweet experience. Then, suddenly, they see the Revels: yes, why not?
This is both the joy of Revels and the stone around their neck. I would estimate that very few people actually go to buy chocolate with the sole intention of buy Revels, because the fact is that there is always at least one Revel that you really, really hate. If you’re really unlucky, it’s one of the ones you can’t discover via simple scientific experiment. Personally, I despise the coffee ones. This would be extremely problematic if I liked the orange ones a great deal, but I never feel too bad doing a firm “squish test” if it bumps off the orange ones as well.
This is, of course, a good time to review your opinions of Revels, since there’s a vote out to get rid of your least favourite flavour for a while, to be replaced by a mysterious new flavour. I highly recommend visiting the Revels Eviction website and placing your vote – and I’m very pleased to say that coffee is losing by a fair margin. However, it’s closely followed by poor old raisin, so quick – place your vote now!
In the interests of fairness, I would like to link to this excellent review with a chocolate-by-chocolate breakdown. Unfortunately, it favours the coffee, but I suppose someone has to like them.